Review: Kaleidoscope Bar, 28 Queen Street

I think SMWS’s Kaleidoscope Bar manages to be a local secret hiding in plain sight.

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Girdy ventured off Edinburgh’s Queen Street and into the Kaleidoscope Bar. You don’t need to be a member to get inside… but what does the building hold?

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I had always assumed you had to be a Scotch Malt Whisky Society member to even step into the building. You do not. If you are over 18, you can walk into the Kaleidoscope Bar, sit, eat, and drink.

You don’t need to order a whisky, but that would strike me as daft and a wasted chance to sample at least one of their 500-plus single malts. Open to the public, the bar offers cocktails, spirits, wine and even craft beer.

Tip: Book in advance if you want to visit the Kaleidoscope on Friday evening or the weekend. It gets busy!

I visited the bar after a whisky tasting, I am not an SMWS member and was wearing jeans and a t-shirt, and it was not a problem. The dress code only prohibits flip-flops from the members’ lounge, which the Kaleidoscope is not, and the shorts should be knee length. My hot pants-wearing days never happened.

Kaleidoscope Bar’s food and drink

In my defence, I was in the building for hours. I also wanted to give you a thorough review!

I had four drams of whisky, one armagnac and two Singapore Slings, a pie and a cheesecake. I had zero disappointments, but regular readers know that I like to go big, and the problem with spirits of whisky strength is that they are petite sipping drinks. Cheesecake has no such excuse, and Kaleidoscope’s dessert was delicious enough for me to have easily eaten four or five times more.

SMWS’s whisky strategy is to buy casts from distillers and bottle them themselves. The whole Society was born as a clever Scottish way to club together and buy whisky in bulk. The result, all these years later, is that Kaleidoscope has access to a large range of exclusive drinks plus access to everything else on the market.

Of the SMWS own whisky I sampled, I would recommend Cloudberries in Flam, Just Right for a Balmy Night and, controversially Fruit Utopia. The latter is controversial as it’s a special edition in a clear glass bottle rather than the UV-shielded green bottles.

The catch, and part of the excitement, of a visit to the Kaleidoscope is that you don’t necessarily know whether they’ll have the particular SMSW bottle you wanted. While I was there, a regular (five-time) visitor from Canada popped in to chase down a bottle he had been recommended. Sadly, the Kaleidoscope Bar didn’t have it, but there was still a chance the other Edinburgh (and members-only) location in the Vaults in Leith would.

The short of it is – it’s not a question of whether the Kaleidoscope Bar has great whiskies and private club-level food; it does! It’s the question of whether the bar has that particular SMWS whisky you wanted.

Kaleidoscope Bar’s vibe

I was a bit nervous, I’ll admit it. Despite not being a member, I knew I was allowed in, but I’m a geek who prefers street food to posh dining. I was concerned that a members-only club’s aura would react badly to my own grumpily-held opinions.

I turned off my Sex Pistols album, pocked my Pixel Buds and tucked my phone away before entering the building.

Inside, I found a healthy mix of visitors. Many weren’t members but had come to the SMWS on purpose for an event or to meet a friend member. I know because I chatted with a few. I don’t know if this is a typical demographic, but I’d say most people were in their mid-thirties or above, there were twice as many women as men, I was the only local and one of the guests was a person of colour. Honestly, there are many pubs in the city that are way more stale, male and pale than that. Well done, Kaleidoscope Bar that was an impressive start.

Yes, the bartenders wear uniforms and look posh. During my stay, I had two different chaps look after me and tackle my poorly educated questions about whisky and the history of the Society, but they were always friendly. Both, in fact, were clearly very proud of the Society and knew a lot about the drams being served. Honestly, I’ve been to bars in Edinburgh with a reputation for being a ‘whisky bar’ and have not been impressed at the knowledge of the staff there. I had no such problem here!

There are a few tables in the centre of the bar which will suit parties of up to six Most of the bar, though, is cosier than that. Leather seats around polished tables are the order of the day. I imagine you could sit at one, with a good book, and nurse a bottle of whisky in utter relaxation for hours. I wouldn’t be surprised if people do!

Things to do in the city centre

The first and most obvious thing to do is to have a whisky-tasting session while in Queen Street.

However, if that’s not on the cards and you’re treating yourself, then a visit to the nearby Everyman Cinema, a shopping trip to John Lewis in the nearby St James Quarter or, in the same place, Calvin Klein, Hotel Chocolat and Tommy Hilfiger.

Alternatively, the Edinburgh Playhouse is just a little further along, and The Scottish National Portrait Gallery closer.

Overall

I definitely enjoyed my visit to the Kaleidoscope Bar.

Despite not being far from work, I can’t see this Queen Street bar as my regular because it feels like something better left for treats. In particular, and since I mentioned work, the Kaleidoscope Bar feels like a place to take and impress a client visiting Edinburgh for a few days.

I was delighted at the hospitality, wowed by the drinks, and impressed at the range of members I met. I just wish my budget were stretched further, as I don’t think it’s wise or appropriate to wish for more affordable whisky!

If you are a whisky fan or curious, I recommend checking out Kaleidoscope Bar. Even if you’re just looking for a good place to have a drink, then step off Queen Street, escape the oncoming winter, and take a seat.