Girdy & Birdy decided to pay the tenner to hire a row boat on the union canal for an hour. As total n00bs to row boating, what could possibly go wrong?!
Birdy: This was my bright idea. I thought it’d be something a bit fun and different for self and Captain Girdseye to do, rather than just shovelling food in our mouths and writing about it. I also thought it’d make a good TikTok, and I wasn’t wrong!
Girdy: I was running late. I hate being late; for the first 45 years of my life I almost never did it and now I seem to be perma-late. So, late, rushing, I charged towards where I thought Birdy and a chance to catch my breath on the canal would be.
I was wrong. Birdy was waiting, waving me down, dressed in a life preserver and standing beside a wee rowing boat that looks like it had escaped off the cover of a Famous Five book. And, what, … one set of oars and just the room for us?
Briefing and getting our lifejackets on
Birdy: When I first rocked up to Ashley Terrace boathouse, I was greeted by two members of the Edinburgh Union Canal Society – one of whom I’d met the week before, when I originally booked (slots only open up a week prior to boat hire – that rhymes).
As Girdy was running late, it was up to me to pretend to be a responsible adult and fill out the necessary paperwork. I was also told some vital info, such as keeping to the right, and what to do if a barge comes along!
Girdy: Thankfully, donning the lifejacket was easy. Just as well. I had very little air left in my lungs after speed walking the last mile or so.
Birdy: Lifejacket time! Quelle surprise, I was in a dress; something I didn’t expect to be an issue, because lifejackets go on your top half, right? Well, mostly right, but mine still had to be loosened all the way so one of the straps could go up through my legs without exposing me on this beautiful summer day. Cue slight awkwardness. All of this was achieved before Girdy arrived because he was that late.
Girdy: Climbing into the boat wasn’t so easy. It moved. I mean; how rude! Thankfully, the lovely pair of chaps who had rented us the boat and who I now know Birdy had signed some sort of permission-giving paperwork and legal exemptions with, helped hold it steady and I got in.
I was very glad it hadn’t been raining.
Getting to grips with rowing
Birdy: Because Captain Girdseye was so late – and braver than me – we decided he would start with the rowing first. Watching him getting to grips with the oars, it became very clear that it was quite the learning spiral (rather than learning circle, as Girdy put it), and that if we were to get the most out of the experience in the 50 minutes we had, it’d be best if one of us did the majority of the rowing. I was on camera duty.
Girdy: Okay, so I had to row because of course I did. It was a learning experience! First I had to learn the angle to hold the oars, then the Konami code pattern to raise the oars from the Union Canal, move them in the air, dunk them back into the water, move them through the water and then apply suitable and correct directional pressure to the battle barge (aka wee row boat) we’d been given.
I don’t learn easily. It took a while.
Birdy: I did do a wee bit of rowing in the final 10 minutes or so of our time in the boat, because it was basically now or not this time! Interestingly, we found I was better at steering and rowing the boat backwards (forwards for me), and Girdy was better at rowing the right way. My arms hurt in no time.
Unfortunately I was too busy trying not to fall in the water, and then not letting the oars fall in the water, to pass Girdy my phone to record any of that section of our experience – and Girdy’s phone was entombed in plastic, due to The Fear of canal water!
Girdy: If you’re the person giving directions then I have two tips. Firstly, call out likely obstacles early and clearly. Don’t wait until things are close because that’s too late. Secondly, learn how to see through the person rowing because that’s the only way to see what’s coming up.
Perhaps we’d all have evolved with x-ray vision if we’d stuck to the waterways in the development of humankind.
Experience
Birdy: For the most part, I had a lot of fun watching Girdy rowing on the canal, and making jokes about ducks, ramming kids into the water, and racing random people. After a while, Girdy seemed to find his ‘canal arms’ and we were even able to go in straight lines for some of the time – and at a surprisingly speedy pace!
Girdy: I’m mixed on my experience because I started at the ‘Holyheck-what-am-I-doing?’ level and migrated through to the ‘I-think-I’ve-got-it’ level and then to the ‘Utter-lie-I-don’t-have-it-at-all’ level of rowing skill.
Birdy: It was slightly annoying that we got blocked by the kids and didn’t really feel like we could safely and responsibly get past them – the other way was the winding pool, where all the serious rowists were turning, so we were kind of stuck in one section of the canal. For amateurs like us, was that really a bad thing? Probably not.
Other Things to do near the Union Canal
We splashed into our wee battle barge at the Ashley Terrace Boathouse entry to the canal and there are tea shops like the lovely named Tea & Sympathy and other similar venues in Polwarth.
If you’re looking for places to eat or things to see near this part of the Union Canal (and it’s a long stretch of water) you could to the west (opposite direction from town) and eventually turn off down the steps by the Water of Leith Visitor Centre (with some fun visitor features!) before following the Water of Leith north along the John Muir Way. Keep following this route and you’d eventually reach Saughton Park – this is one of Birdy’s favourite walks. From here, you could either keep following the John Muir Way, or take a turn towards Gorgie where you’ll be met with some lovely hidden gems, such as KASPA’s Desserts and Cafe Presko (which sells AMAZING burgers and shakes, and is partnered with Braw Burgers!).
If the weather isn’t right for a walk, then head back towards the centre of town and Fountainbridge. There’s a cinema, some international franchises and some local highlights in Fountainpark enroute. Alternatively, head South(ish) towards Morningside for an absolute feast of places to eat and even Edinburgh’s abandoned and still Instagram worthy wild-west town!
Or, if this sounds like your sort of area, there’s a gaggle of hotels near the end of the Canal such as the Hampton by Hilton, the Moxy Edinburgh, the Balmore Guest House, the posh The Valentine and not so posh Staycity Aparthotels.
Overall
Birdy: I had a great time on the canal, and considering this is the first time in a few years that the Edinburgh Union Canal Society is doing these boat hires, I highly recommend giving it a go and supporting them. Thanks to past me for the great idea!
Girdy: The short of it is – I’m glad I did it. I’ve now gone rowing on the Union Canal. However, be watchful what you let Birdy video if you don’t want your gurning face all over TikTok and if you want plausible deniability on whether you knew the duck was there or not.
Birdy: Oh, come on! You looked just fine, and there was no way we were getting those 500 duck points… this time!
A Review of Edinburgh Union Canal Society Boat Hire
Summary
Edinburgh Union Canal Society boat hire is a fantoosh way to spend a summer’s day – and if total amateurs like Girdy & Birdy can manage it, anyone can!
Like the idea of hiring a boat along the Union Canal like Girdy & Birdy? Good news! You can book your boat hire right here – but bear in mind slots open up a week in advance.
What do you think? Let us know in the comments below!
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