Review: Smoke and Bubbles and Magic – Oh My! At The Alchemist

Nope, we’re not talking about a schmoke and a pancake – these are mysterious smokey, bubbly mocktails and cocktails (with a couple of surprises), as Birdy found out when she brought her family with her to The Alchemist!

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Birdy didn’t want to feel left out, so paid her own visit to The Alchemist – and took her family along for the ride! #edinburgh #edinburgheats #edinburghreviews #edinburgheatingrecommendations #thealchemist #mocktailslover #mocktails @The Alchemist UK

♬ Witchcraft – Alenius Boserup, Louise

I’d been really excited to try The Alchemist for food. Full disclosure; I’d already been once with Girdy for a couple of mocktails after our Duck & Waffle review, which made quite an impression on both of us! Since then, Girdy went back for lunch and I’ve been jealousssss as hell ever since.

So, when it came to a place for a family lunch at St James Quarter, this was instantly my first choice! I don’t think my parentals knew what was about to hit them, mwahahahah…

The Alchemist’s vibe

Is it a mysterious cult? Is it an occult hangout for gothic-looking witches like moi? Does it matter what it is when it feels this cool? Okay, I love a bar with a very strong theme, and this just feels like it has the wow factor many places fail at.

From the artwork and decor, to the food and, of course, the showstopping cocktails, mocktails and extra panache that goes into various items on the menu, The Alchemist just feels like it has IT. There’s a bit of a show, and it makes any meal feel that much more exciting.

Maybe some people find it gimmicky or a tad pretentious, but those people have no inner child/soul left. Just go and have a fun time! Pour the damn cocktails out of the beakers and revel in the colour changing, smokey, bubbly magick, and pretend you’re Wizard Nigel the Studious of Grimfiltch Hollow.

Okay, I had never been on The Alchemist’s website before, but the below quote is actually the vibe you get:

“We’re masters in the dark arts of molecular mixology and demons in the kitchen. Our mixologists create every cocktail with an obsessive eye for detail, presented in vessels orchestrated to add a devilish dash of theatre, they bedazzle, bewitch and set the scene for everything we do.

Step into the mystical apothecary, dispensing the most creative cocktails and delicious all-day dining with a twist.”

Aside from all of the cool stuff, it’s still a fairly relaxed vibe. It’s not overly intense or a dark, dimly lit arcane crevice of a restaurant; it’s light and airy.

The Alchemist’s drinks menu

This is the main reason people come to The Alchemist; because the drinks menu contains some absolutely showstopping wonders of drinks – and there’s plenty of low and no-alcohol mocktails to delight non-alcohol drinkers like myself, too!

They call it ‘theatre served’, and that sums it up very nicely.

I ordered the Bubblygum, which had a lovely fruity bubblegum flavour and lots of BUBBLES, followed by the Shade Switcher, which came with two flasks, each of which changed the colour of the mocktail. My partner had a Punchy Blood Orange, and my mum was very amused by her ‘3.5oz Of Happiness’.

She was completely won over when she realised she got to keep the hip flask!

I wish I knew what my dad ordered, but in other venues it seems to be called ‘Breaking and Eggs’. It had an actual candy fried egg that he had to break with a spoon, but he was a bit confused about just how to go about doing that, and needed a bit of extra guidance!

Eventually the egg was smashed, but it wasn’t his favourite thing, so he swiftly moved onto wine – which my mum joined him in. Because that’s just how they roll.

I’m so impressed with the drinks menu, and the fact they put so much effort into all of their drinks options – even for non-drinkers. It’s such a fun place to come if you need a little pick-me-up, but more about that later.

The Alchemist’s food

We all ordered different food, and I really enjoyed my cheeseburger and loaded fries. It was absolutely delicious! I don’t think any of us had any complaints as such, although the shape of my mum’s chicken in a chicken-shaped basket meant it was a little bit awkward to fish the food out occasionally – no biggie.

My partner ordered The Arc flatbread, which he quickly scoffed down. My dad ordered the French dip steak sandwich, which meant our server smoked up the rosemary sticking out of it – that was fun. But not as much fun as the desserts!

I delighted in ordering the baked Alaska, which came with candyfloss on top that got smothered in grand marnier and then torched – yay! It was SO GOOD. My mum had the double chocolate chip cookie s’mores, which involved her having to catch smokey bubbles out of the air. Fun times!

My dad had a much more relaxed Irish coffee, which he seemed to enjoy.

The service

Cannot rate the service at The Alchemist highly enough; the staff were all lovely, and were always happy to explain about a particular cocktail or dish.

However, what happened next was even better. When I saw a little boy at the table behind me get something that basically smoked up the entire table, I excitedly stopped one of the servers to ask what it was he’d ordered, BECAUSE I WANTED ONE!

It turned out, this is something they only do for kids, as a nice sort of surprise. But the server said she’d ask nicely to see if I could get one for the TikTok I was filming. I was over the bloody moon when, a few minutes later, the smokey flask hero arrived!

Note: this is not a drinkable thing – it’s just intended to look pretty. You pour some red stuff into the flask, then some white things, and watch the smokey magick take over the entire table! So much fun. Just as well I had the option to mute the original sound on my video, as all you could hear was me shouting ‘YES, YES, YES, YESSSSSS!!!’

Overall

So, yes, you could say I had a very satisfying experience at The Alchemist – and it IS an experience. Don’t go there if you want run-of-the-mill… or if you don’t like fun.

The food was all to a high standard, the service was great, but the show of the cocktails and desserts are the thing you really want to go there for.

I’ll definitely be going back there for a cheeky mocktail or two any chance I get, and I can highly recommend it to anyone. Especially if you have kids and want to experience the special kids’ surprise! (Or, just tell them you’re a big kid yourself!)