Simon Howie Chocolate Haggis: A Burns Night Brownie Alternative

As Burns Night approaches on the 25th of January, many in Scotland begin the annual search for the perfect traditional haggis. This year, I decided to depart from tradition and try the Simon Howie Chocolate Haggis, a dessert-focused twist on the national dish. Purchased through the Tesco Whoosh delivery service, which effectively white-labels Uber Eats to provide rapid grocery delivery, the process was efficient and straightforward.

The first impression of this “haggis” is largely down to its clever packaging. At £6 for the loaf, it sits at a competitive price point of roughly £1.30 per 100 grams, making it a budget-friendly way to mark the occasion. The presentation mimics the real thing with a plastic sausage wrap secured by metal clips, though the contents are distinctly brown and loaf-like rather than the speckled green-black of a savoury haggis.

Packaging and Preparation

The physical design of the treat is certainly haggis suggestive, but the execution of the heating instructions requires a bit of manual effort. The recommended route is the microwave, which presents a challenge due to those metal clips. Since metal and microwaves are notoriously poor companions, you have to wrestle the chocolate loaf out of its casing before heating.

Once extracted, the instructions suggest covering the loaf with your own cling film in a suitable dish. After about three minutes and thirty seconds, the solid chocolate loaf undergoes a significant transformation. It essentially becomes a hot, melted dessert that is easy to share, though it requires a bowl to contain the spread.

Texture and Taste

In terms of flavour, this is essentially a chocolate brownie in an awkward container. The result of the microwaving is a chocolate puddle that is admittedly fairly tasty and rich. While the name and shape pay homage to Robbie Burns, the actual experience is much closer to a standard hot brownie than anything uniquely Scottish in flavour profile.

The richness of melted chocolate makes it best served with an accompaniment. Adding custard, cream, or even a splash of brandy cream would elevate the dish and balance the sweetness. It is a substantial portion, making it a good candidate for sharing at the end of a family meal. Supporting a prominent Scottish brand like Simon Howie is a plus, even if the connection to the Bard feels more like a marketing angle than a culinary one.

Overall

The Simon Howie Chocolate Haggis is a fun, albeit simple, novelty item for those who want to celebrate Burns Night without the traditional offal. It offers a reliable chocolate fix and a bit of theatricality in its shape, even if it eventually settles into a brownie puddle. If you are visiting the city for a Burns Supper, booking a stay through Booking.com offers plenty of centrally located options to enjoy the local festivities, and I think I’d rather rock up at the Scotch Malt Whisky Society or the (non members) part of the Royal Scots Club. It is a safe, tasty alternative for the 25th of January, provided you do not expect any actual haggis-like qualities.